The Purpose of Belonging and Shared Experiences

the purpose of belonging

Have you ever stumbled across a social media post that somehow captured your exact emotions in that specific moment? Maybe someone shared a story about grieving a difficult breakup, having an overwhelming week at work or feeling unexpectedly emotional over something seemingly minor. Suddenly, something you thought was entirely unique to you seemed more universal.

That spark of recognition explains the popularity of a recent TikTok trend called the “October canon event.” People used the phrase to describe emotional setbacks, disappointments and life-changing experiences that happened last month. Some of these posts were funny moments of self-reflection, while others expressed genuine grief, anxiety or frustration. Thousands of people responded by sharing similar stories.

Of course, it’s unrealistic to blame one single month of the year for these difficulties. This trend resonated due to something much more fundamental – the innate human desire to feel understood.

Why Do We Need to Feel Like We Belong?

Throughout your life, your relationships with others have shaped your identity and provided stability during uncertain times. If the people around you don’t make you feel accepted, valued or understood, it can deprive you of opportunities to share your experiences, express your emotions and maintain a healthy outlook even when something goes wrong.

This lack of belonging may contribute to loneliness, anxiety and depression. You might have an active social life with plenty of real-life friends or hundreds of online connections and still feel isolated and discouraged if you believe nobody understands what you’re going through.

Shared Experiences Normalize Difficult Emotions

When you’re struggling with grief, anger or other painful feelings, it’s easy to assume that everyone else has a better handle on their lives than you do. Social media often reinforces this impression because so many people exclusively use it to share positive experiences like vacations or engagement announcements. Even when these posts aren’t mean-spirited, they can still affect your self-esteem.

That’s why seeing someone openly discuss disappointment, grief or emotional exhaustion can feel refreshing. Perhaps you’ve struggled to adjust to a life transition such as a job loss, and you discover that other people have experienced similar uncertainty. Or maybe you’ve felt guilty about not enjoying an occasion that everyone else seems excited about and stumbled on a community of others expressing the same emotions. These flashes of recognition can reduce shame and remind you that difficult feelings are part of the human experience.

Why Online Relatability Can Be So Comforting

The “October canon event” trend went viral specifically because it provided an outlet for expressing complex emotions. People rallied around the phrase, using it to acknowledge their struggles without necessarily revealing every personal detail.

Joining an informal online conversation may feel less intimidating than telling your loved ones that you’re grieving, anxious, burned out or experiencing intrusive thoughts. Comments from people who have experienced similar challenges might provide valuable reassurance, while posting your story can help you feel less alone.

The niche communities that develop on platforms like Reddit create opportunities for connection, especially among people who lack healthy, mutually beneficial relationships in their daily lives. However, finding and interacting with relatable content isn’t a substitute for nurturing real-life relationships with people who can form the backbone of your emotional support network.

Feeling Seen Isn’t Always the Same as Feeling Supported

Even if you find a social media post echoing your innermost thoughts, that doesn’t necessarily mean the stranger who created it identifies with your unique circumstances. If you regularly search for content about depression, anxiety, trauma or loneliness, consider what draws you to those conversations.

Are you looking for reassurance that your feelings are normal? Do you wish your friends and family understood your challenges with self-destructive behaviors like substance abuse or excessive gambling? Your answers may reveal an unmet emotional need that deserves attention beyond your screen.

Building Genuine Connections Takes Vulnerability

Online interactions typically feel easier than personal, one-on-one conversations because they require less vulnerability. Writing a brief comment on a stranger’s video may seem safer than telling your friends and family members that you’re struggling, especially if you worry that it will change their perception of you.

However, the most beneficial relationships often develop when people feel comfortable being honest about their experiences, including the painful ones. You don’t have to tell everyone everything. Healthy vulnerability involves establishing appropriate boundaries with trustworthy people. You might start by telling a friend that you’ve had a difficult week and asking them how they handled a similar situation. The resulting conversation can create opportunities for mutual understanding.

Finding Connection Through Mental Health Support

While friends, family members and online communities can provide valuable encouragement, some emotional challenges benefit from professional guidance. If symptoms such as a loss of interest in daily activities or an inability to feel joy make it harder for you to maintain your relationships, mental health professionals can recommend practical coping strategies.

Group therapy and other structured settings can also provide opportunities to meet people who have been where you are. Listening to their perspectives can hone your self-awareness and provide you with a fresh outlook on life.

Finding people who relate to your struggles can be comforting. Building relationships in which you feel genuinely heard and respected can have an even more beneficial impact. Contact us today to learn more about our comprehensive mental health treatment programs.

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