Few conversation topics feel more frightening than hearing someone you care about say the world might be better off without them. You may worry about overreacting or blurting out something that might make the situation worse. Or, perhaps you’ll freeze because you don’t know what to do next.
Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, observed in September, is a valuable reminder that you don’t need to be a mental health professional to take a loved one’s distress seriously. Knowing what to say and how can help you be a pillar when someone needs you most.
Start by Listening
Your first instinct may be to convince the person that everything will be OK. Instead, listen without judgment and acknowledge the gravity of the moment. You might say, “Thank you for telling me that” or “I’m here with you, and I want to understand what you’re going through.”
Try not to immediately offer solutions or compare their situation to someone else’s. Statements like “You have so much to live for,” “Things could be worse” or “Think about how your family would feel” may be well-intentioned, but they can make someone who is already isolated or ashamed less willing to continue talking.
Take Them Seriously
Don’t dismiss a disclosure because the person appears calm, continues going to work or school or seems to be functioning well from the outside. Likewise, don’t assume someone is merely seeking attention. Suicidal ideation is a sign of significant distress worth taking seriously, even if it’s passive.
This aspect is particularly essential to remember when talking with children and teenagers. Something that seems manageable from your adult perspective – a breakup, conflict with friends, bullying or trouble at school – may feel catastrophic to a young person. Listen to their experiences and encourage them to be honest, rather than automatically dismissing their feelings.
Help Them Connect With Support
Telling your loved one to “seek help” and leaving the conversation there can put a heavy burden on their shoulders at a time when they are already experiencing a crisis. Instead, be empathetic. Offer to research nearby mental health resources, put them in touch with a support group or stay by their side while they call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Alternatively, call 911 if you believe your loved one’s life may be in imminent danger.
Your support shouldn’t evaporate once the immediate emergency seems to have passed. A simple check-in text, phone call or visit can remind your loved one that you’re thinking of them. Ask how they’re doing and follow through on your promises. At the same time, remember to look after yourself. Being present to witness a loved one’s struggle can be emotionally challenging, and you may benefit from seeking professional counseling as well.
A Difficult Conversation Can Open the Door to Help
You don’t need to come up with the perfect response when someone tells you they’re thinking about ending their life. Take them seriously, listen without judgment and connect them with people who have the appropriate training and experience to provide help.
As Mississippi’s largest mental and behavioral health facility, Pine Grove offers a full continuum of psychiatric care for adults and children. Reach out today to request more information.
